After all, only terrible parents would out of desperation and exhaustion let their kid watch TV to fall asleep. Only a terrible parent would leave a shopping cart full of things in the store to carry out a screaming and flailing kid. Certainly good parents wouldn’t be lying awake at night wondering why their child was such a monster. Good parents don’t feel resentment towards their child, do they?

I started to really get caught up in what a bad parent I was. I was starting to feel pretty frustrated and kind of hopeless at the same time. Other parents and kids I knew didn’t seem to have half the problems me and my son did. I was convinced that my child’s ridiculously bad behavior was karmic justice for all of the bad parenting I was doing.

But, as it turns out, I’m not a bad parent – and I never actually was. I’ve actually been told quite a few times by several therapists that I really am a good parent. (They swear they weren’t just saying that to boost my self esteem!) I was following the right discipline ideas, I was doing all that I could. My kid just has a mental health disorder, that’s all.

With so many people assuming that ADHD is just a diagnosis that means “Bad Parenting” it can be really frustrating. For one, it causes hundreds, if not thousands of parents to deny their kids have problems. It makes parents feel like they are the ones to blame – as if their actions are in direct correlation to why their child misbehaves, can’t sit still, and is jumping from one thing to the next. Instead, many kids go undiagnosed. Nobody wants to accept that they have a problem or that their kid has a problem either. In fact, we might even tiptoe around the issue with parents – by either not talking about it or trying to find some kind of ridiculous miracle cure rather than accepting it as an illness.

If you feel like a terrible parent, you’re not alone. Every parent, even parents of completely mentally healthy children, feel these kinds of feelings from time to time. But if you’re constantly beating yourself up about it, it’s time to stop.

It’s not easy to go from feeling like horrible parent to good parent. So to help you dismiss those horrible parent feelings, here’s some help:

1. Embrace The Diagnosis: Breathe that diagnosis with a sigh of relief! There is nothing “wrong” with you – or even your child necessarily. Your child has a medical condition. And while a medical condition requires treatment and attention and research and understanding – it is not the end of the world. Millions of people with medical conditions can continue on with happy and successful lives. When you start realizing there is a medical condition, and not “something wrong” it really helps put things into perspective.

2. Do Good Parent Things: Good parents make sure their kid has the basic necessities and is in a safe environment. (Y’know – fed, clothed, bathed, not playing in the street, child proofing the house, etc.) Good parents take their child to a doctor when the child is sick – and good parents will make sure that they research and follow through with a treatment plan for their child’s ADHD. Don’t brush it off as something unimportant or will go away on its own. Instead, talk with the doctors, the therapists, the teachers, the professionals. It’s the best thing you can do when you are in doubt.

3. Realize You’re Not Alone: There are thousands of parents right now feeling just like you are. The good news is you can find others to help you and relate to. Join a forum or message board. Check with CHADD.org and find a local chapter near you. Call a neighbor, call a long lost friend, open the phone book and call one of the help line’s in the front. We always feel like we are alone and have no one to turn to or talk to about something – but that’s not the case.

4. Take Time-Outs: If you’re getting overwhelmed or frustrated – take a break. Let someone else watch your child(ren) for a few hours. Go for walks. Take a relaxing bubble bath. Do something FUN and do it for YOU.

It’s time to forget about what means “normal” and what means “terrible parenting”. Instead, focus on getting you and your child the treatment you need to get through it – and it will get better eventually. You CAN be happy. It’s not hopeless. And you’re not a terrible parent if you’re still reading this site. Pat yourself on the back for being a good parent. Because good parents recognize there is a problem and seek help not only for their children, but themselves too.